Disagreements and tension with our children’s mother can’t help but spill over into how we relate to our kids. Our words and actions (or our inaction) can have powerful consequences for our families and children.
Having a difficult conversation is sometimes necessary. All couples need to be able to maturely address issues ranging from selfishness, neglect, or simple differences of opinion.
When conflict arises in a marriage, it’s not uncommon for us to seek validation for being upset. So, we look for ways to strengthen our case and justify our complaint against the other.
No one likes being in an argument. Arguments stir up intense emotions and can leave us feeling misunderstood and wounded. Yet, not all arguments are equal. Arguments mean different things in different circumstances. An argument is defined as a work of persuasion. We use arguments to convince others of our point of view. Well-thought arguments are crucial to social discourse and an important tool in workplace decision-making. When we make a ...
My together time with my daughters makes three people. When we are together, each of us brings our own measure of joy, mellowness, sanity, sorrow, silliness, delight, curiosity, affection, wonder and all the other hurdy-gurdy of emotions. Even though I try to have my dad radar tuned in to the emotions of two daughters, sometimes it can be a tough read. Tuning in and applying the right combination of daddy empathy ...
Learning from conflict will make any dad a better one. “A joyful heart is good medicine”, wrote Solomon, “but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Prov 17:22). In his context, Solomon understood ‘joyful’ to mean delight, celebration, a form of cheerfulness, the shining of something bright. There’s a reason he speaks of joy and being crushed with a slight pause between two breaths. A joyful heart and a crushed spirit ...
The most powerful influence on a couple is their family of origin. Good or bad, our experiences in our childhood prepared us for marriage. The young couple sitting opposite us had been married only a few years. They were experiencing some health challenges, but this is not what brought them to us; they were locked in a perpetual low-grade argument that never seemed to end. They were so ‘wired’, almost every ...
‘Shhhh… not in front of the kids!’ We’ve all been there: In the car with a captive audience… or at the dinner table. An argument erupts and the question is: do you save it for later? Or just let it all out in front of the kids? Studies conducted at the University of Rochester, NY, found that it’s okay for your kids to see you argue, as long you work it ...
The “no-fault” divorce revolution that spread across the Western world was led in the 1970s by members of the cultural, academic, legal and political elites, in particular by radical feminists who made the case for easy divorce as a means of women’s liberation. By declaring marriage to be an oppressive institution, they demanded “no fault” as a means of allowing wives to escape marriage and achieve a “right of exit”. Although ...
“For an increasing number of long-term marriages, it’s no longer a case of ‘until death do us part,’ it’s a matter of until the children depart from the family nest,” writes Rachel Browne in a Sydney Morning Herald article, “Parents wait until children go, then do the same thing.” Suddenly finding your busy life full of activities attached to children, and a home in a constant state of noise, and endless ...
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