I want to get as many quality years and moments as I can with my daughter. I don’t want to live in pain if I don’t have to, because it impedes my ability to enjoy her and being a parent.

In my opinion, there’s nothing more attractive than a man who’s a great dad. Becoming parents has brought out parts of ourselves we would never have known were there.

Here are ten reflections on falling short of a desired outcome. More precisely, why we fail despite ourselves or our best intentions.

Over the past decade, we’ve frequently had frustrated husbands or wives approach us for help. This led us to create the BreakThrough course for individual spouses in distressed marriages.

Any couple who stays together more than a decade by necessity is doing what we could call ‘conscious REcoupling’. As we well know, people change.

At some point, every couple will have the Forever Conversation — the discussion that explores their long-term commitment. It’s no secret to anyone that the incidence of cohabitation has increased. In fact, a couple who hasn’t cohabited is increasingly rare, even in the Catholic formation circles where we work. For couples in these semi-permanent living arrangements, the natural progression of a romantic relationship towards marriage is slowed. Without the inconvenience of ...

As a parent, you have to be able to lead family discussions with a listening ear, respecting each family member’s point of view. From the diversity of opinions, in love you can forge a united course of action. Sincere agreement is vital for harmony and effectiveness. Many years ago, Dads4Kids convened Australia’s first-ever Fathering Forum in Federal Parliament in Canberra. Almost 30 different groups were represented. The one thing each group ...

Before we become fathers, we are free to live like children ourselves.  We work towards our own ends, we engage in relationships to satiate our own needs and desires, we enjoy leisure-some pursuits based entirely on what we enjoy. Fatherhood, by necessity, changes our focus and our lifestyle.  For myself, fatherhood was the precipitating factor in my finally and irrevocably, growing up.  I believe that most new fathers (and their partners!) ...

Ed Cole left a lasting legacy teaching men how to maximise their manhood and put their families first, accepting that fatherhood was their primary responsibility. Isn’t it an awesome privilege to be a father? When you witness the birth of your first child, it truly is a humbling experience. Unfortunately, no one hands you a manual to help you. That is why it is so important for us as fathers to ...

Change is difficult. It can also be complicated. Despite our best intentions, sustained change often eludes us. We’ve had many spouses tell us that their husband or wife promised to change, and things were good for a while, but then there was a relapse. Their good intentions were not enough to sustain their energy for change. So what can we do when we really need a change to stick? What needs ...

Have you ever experienced the situation when someone has apologised but, while the words were said it lacked something, making it difficult for you to accept it? Sadly, most of us are not as good at apologising as we need to be. We think that it’s obvious, should just be instinctual, or that our love should somehow make it magically work. Well, it isn’t obvious, and it is not instinctual. We ...

Start a “change reaction” in your relationship by changing yourself first. It’s easy to see how couples get stuck when ‘being right’ has become a habit. Clinging to our ‘right to be right’ is like gangrene in a relationship — it eats away at our intimacy by destroying our willingness to be vulnerable and open with each other. Insanity has been described as doing the same thing over and over while ...

We all understand that our marriages go through their ups and downs, but we often don’t appreciate that they also go through fundamental reconfigurations over the years. We have come to realise that we have actually had several marriages already in our 28+ years together. For example, there was the ‘newlywed marriage’ where we were building a new life together, living overseas and redefining ourselves as a couple. There was the ...

While homeschooling, a timetable is necessary, but so is the ability to pivot and make space for unexpected events. A balance of routine and flexibility will create a healthy learning environment. Make this an axiom: routine is life, yet without flexibility, a routine life is dull. Without elasticity, routine devolves into a rigid, joyless obsession over ledger ticks and timestamps. Flexibility saves routine from its inevitable dreary end. In the context ...

Seeing your child grow up and get married is bittersweet, but embrace the changing seasons as part of being a parent. Being the father of the bride is an honour, a momentous occasion, a fresh opportunity to love. The first Father of the Bride movie was shot in 1950. The second Father of the Bride movie with Steve Martin starring as the father was shot in 1991. Don’t worry, there will ...

Are you facing conflict in your marriage? Make the first move. Change your mindset, respond with compassion, dwell on the positives. Change begins with you. All changes in our relationships should start with ourselves. It may be comforting to blame our spouse for the inadequacies of our marriage and expect them to change and meet our demands. But this approach is not only ineffective; it is also unloving. The truth is, ...

The desire to change other people is natural but it will only lead to frustration. You will enjoy the most success and contentment in life when you focus not on changing people but changing yourself. If only my children were more helpful and cooperative… If only I had a smaller behind and a prettier face… If only they understood me better… If only everyone in this house was more considerate… If ...

Struggling for motivation? Frustrated that you’re starting things and not getting them finished? Here I expose the principles to staying motivated. Recently I was asked to provide some secret sauce for an Australian Defence magazine on staying motivated. I’m not going to replicate the full report here, so you can check out the source article “My Secrets To Getting & Staying Motivated”. But here’s a summary of steps Anyone can do now ...

There was a time where I was anti-women getting into trades. I was an end-of-third year apprentice, had just finished my Diploma in Fashion Styling and I was about to complete my last block of TAFE for my plumbing apprenticeship. I was over plumbing. Over male tradies. Over male apprentices. I was over having to prove myself when I worked. I was over TAFE teachers who read from the Standards, rather ...

Oprah Winfrey said that you can’t have everything and do everything at the same time. Was she right? Today we unpack work-life balance and ask if it is still possible. And if it is, then how? When the term work-life balance is raised, it usually stirs some sort of emotion in you. There are a few who don’t desire ‘work-life balance’, but on the whole, most men I speak to have ...