When Marriages Rise from the Dead
The power of forgiveness can bring even the most broken marriage back to life. One spouse willing to take the first step is sometimes enough.
When Mercy is Hard to Do
Every-day offences and deficits in our character make it necessary for every couple to practise mercy as a regular, even daily habit. When we fail to do this, minor upsets accumulate into overwhelming piles of resentment and shame that seem to be insurmountable.
Three Tools for Better Conflict
Every marriage has conflict. Two imperfect people sharing a home and dealing with all the pressures of modern life? It’s inevitable! But conflict doesn’t have to be destructive.
Making the Connection…with Arguments
Rightly or wrongly, arguments happen. Whatever the trigger, according to author and therapist Sue Johnson, arguments between lovers are essentially a ‘protest against disconnection’. The subtext of every argument is a question: Do you care about me? Love me? Know me?
The Names We Use Matter
What we call each other and how we address each other impacts the sense of trust and safety in our relationship. Let’s make the names we use for each other a blessing.
Tension with Our Kids’ Mum Deeply Affects Our Fathering
Disagreements and tension with our children’s mother can’t help but spill over into how we relate to our kids. Our words and actions (or our inaction) can have powerful consequences for our families and children.
When I am Winning, WE are Usually Losing
Pride is profoundly I-centred. It defends our threatened ego by diminishing the other and consequently puts distance between us. Humility is the foundation of harmony and love between husband and wife. It helps us get the focus off winning and onto each other.
Protesting Against Disconnection
In one simple sentence, Dr Johnson nailed the foundation of couple arguments: “Arguments are a protest against disconnection.” It revolutionised our interactions.
Two Sides to Relationship Repair
Couples who go the distance in marriage are those who have learnt to repair early and often. They still have disagreements, tiffs, and other challenges to their connection, but they catch it before it escalates.
Displacing Contempt with Respect
Contempt has been identified as a corrosive relationship pattern among couples headed for bust. An expression of despisal, contempt is the toxic cousin to criticism.
