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The resources section of the Dads4Kids website is a forum for Dads to be able to express themselves and encourage other dads. Mothers contribute resources as well. The opinions of the various writers in this section are not necessarily the opinion of Dads4Kids. Read More
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Related Articles from the Daily Dad
Softly Spoken Wins the Heart
Having a difficult conversation is sometimes necessary. All couples need to be able to maturely address issues ranging from selfishness, neglect, or simple differences of opinion.
Marital Conflict Gone Global
When conflict arises in a marriage, it’s not uncommon for us to seek validation for being upset. So, we look for ways to strengthen our case and justify our complaint against the other.
The Power of Why
Rather than just burying it or pushing harder into an argument, we try to take a step back to privately ask ourselves some why questions: why am I reacting this way? Where is this coming from?
The Single-Minded Search
Sometimes, single people ask us for suggestions on how to find a suitable marriage partner. Here’s a thought we often ask them to consider.
I Do Every Day: Whatever Happens, I Choose Us
This diagnosis has caused us to reflect not just on our wedding vows, but also on the words we say to each other every day. Do we still say: I choose us?
The Easy Way?
Is the easy way always the best way? Or might we be called to something more than what we inherited from our families?
Frustrated Marriage
Over the past decade, we’ve frequently had frustrated husbands or wives approach us for help. This led us to create the BreakThrough course for individual spouses in distressed marriages.
Conscious Recoupling
Any couple who stays together more than a decade by necessity is doing what we could call ‘conscious REcoupling’. As we well know, people change.
Sleep Deprivation
Sleep deprivation is marriage enemy number one in our book. When sleep-deprived, everything can appear miserable and beyond redemption.
50 Positive Affirmations for Dads
Whether new to the dad guild or a veteran dad-lifer, blunt affirmations offer sharp relief. Telling ourselves objective truths keeps us fit for the fight.
Why Intentional, Quality Time Matters
Without spending intentional, quality time with each other, we quickly get out of sync. When we do, our patience wears thin, our tones get harsh, and bickering over small things increases. The speed at which disconnect can occur always shocks me.
Why Can’t He Use the Dishwasher Properly?
I find myself huffing in annoyance when sorting out his attempt to pack the dishwasher. He has seemingly not calculated the maximised available space-to-ickiness-of-surface ratio.
Leaving and Cleaving for the Sake of Our Marriage
A few years ago, Francine was a guest on Vision Radio for marriage week. One of the callers shared how his and his wife’s early ‘family of origin’ formation had caused them a lot of conflict. Their differences in expectations and values had caused them a great deal of grief. All married couples will experience both positive and negative effects ...
The Divine Rendezvous
Recently, we came across this quote from Simone Weil, a 20th-century French philosopher, Christian mystic and political activist. “God and humanity are like two lovers who have missed their rendezvous. Each is there before the time, but each at a different place, and they wait, and wait, and wait. He stands motionless, nailed to the spot for the whole of ...
Walking the Talk is More Than You Think
This morning, a friend from Canberra forwarded us a reflection on walking called: Keep Moving. It noted that walking was not only good for physical health, but that it is also good for spiritual health. It recalled the many stories of the New Testament where Jesus and/or the disciples were walking, not just physically from one place to another but ...
Why Reality TV Makes Us Stupider
These days, we rightly talk a lot about exploitation and abuse. It comes in many forms, and we worry we might walk past it without noticing. Recently 665,000 Australians not only walked past, but sat and watched something that we should recognise for what it really is – workplace exploitation abuse. The airing of ‘reality’ TV show Beauty and the ...
Arguments: It’s All About Connection
No one likes being in an argument. Arguments stir up intense emotions and can leave us feeling misunderstood and wounded. Yet, not all arguments are equal. Arguments mean different things in different circumstances. An argument is defined as a work of persuasion. We use arguments to convince others of our point of view. Well-thought arguments are crucial to social discourse ...
Happy Couple or Happy Parents
A recent study has found that couples without kids are much happier in their marriage than those with kids. Should I be worried? Thankfully, the same study showed that mums were happiest of all, but dads were amongst the unhappiest -- perhaps because of the strain parenting has put on their marriage. Nothing can really prepare you for how much ...
The Science, Art and Spirit of Communication
Communication is fundamental to our relationships and the flourishing of families. If we want to do it well, there is a science, art and spirit to communication. We all like to think of ourselves as good communicators. Unfortunately, what that usually means is: I have lots to say and I’m not afraid to say it! That’s because a lot of ...
Managing Differences
Different personalities. Different upbringing. Different education. Different sexes. Sometimes different ethnic or religious backgrounds. With so many differences between us, is it any wonder that making decisions as a couple is complicated and sometimes conflictual? We unpack the SmartLoving framework for managing differences and making couple decisions. Byron and Francine Pirola have been married for 34 years, and between them, ...
How Expectations Set Us Up for Trouble
When we look back on our early romance, we note how quick we were to trust each other, even recklessly so. We dived into the relationship with ready abandon and little thought for the risks of rejection or disappointment. Since then, our trust levels have strengthened in many areas, and declined in others, as we’ve experienced ups and downs in ...
Staying Power
Walk through any quality '80s film, and the reoccurring theme is staying power. Daniel LaRusso, Rocky Balboa, Indiana Jones, Luke Skywalker, and Han Solo? Staying power. Axel Foley, Ripley (Aliens), John McClane, Mr Miyagi, and Maverick? Again, staying power. Add to this, characters played by some of the 80's best female actors: Meryl Streep, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kathleen Turner, and Goldie ...
The Smarter Way to Love
Falling in love is easy. Staying in love requires a conscious decision and focused investment. Loving the Smart way is easy when you know how. Our romance was a whirlwind of delight and passion. Over an intense two years, we courted with a dedicated focus: from the very beginning, it was clear that we were discerning marriage. But even before ...
Incompatible Expectations
I wasn’t expecting that! We’ve explored how our formation in our family of origin continues to play out throughout our marriages. There are typically three ways in which our formation can pose challenges for us and today we explore the first of these: incompatible expectations. Growing up, Francine’s father was a retail pharmacist, with her mother working full-time raising the ...
How Ryan Gosling is Going to Save Your Marriage
It’s true! And now there’s a study that proves it. Finally, I have the ammunition I need to convince hubby that our next date night movie should be a rom-com, rather than an action flick. Researchers who conducted a study involving 174 couples found that those who discussed five movies about relationships over a month cut the three-year divorce rate ...
