Love & Marriage

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The resources section of the Dads4Kids website is a forum for Dads to be able to express themselves and encourage other dads. Mothers contribute resources as well. The opinions of the various writers in this section are not necessarily the opinion of Dads4Kids. Read More

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  • change reaction

Change Reaction

Start a "change reaction" in your relationship by changing yourself first. It’s easy to see how couples get stuck when ‘being right’ has become a habit. Clinging to our ‘right to be right’ is like gangrene in a relationship -- it eats away at our intimacy by destroying our willingness to be vulnerable and open with each other. Insanity has ...

  • trust

Five Ways to Build Trust

Managing each other's expectations in a relationship can be challenging, but here are five steps to building the trust required for a solid foundation from which you can grow together. Today we had a meeting. Sigh… The dreaded meeting! Being a couple and working together is complex. We’re both strong-willed and passionate about what we do, so it’s easy for ...

  • commitment

Two Types of Commitment

In his book The Power of Commitment, Scott Stanley (USA) provides some very useful insights into the nature of commitment. He identifies two types of relationship commitment: constraints and dedication. Constraint Commitment Constraint commitment refers to the ‘forces’ that resist the separation of a couple even when one or both partners would prefer to leave the relationship. Constraints tend to ...

  • marriages

Our Many Marriages

We all understand that our marriages go through their ups and downs, but we often don’t appreciate that they also go through fundamental reconfigurations over the years. We have come to realise that we have actually had several marriages already in our 28+ years together. For example, there was the ‘newlywed marriage’ where we were building a new life together, ...

  • marriage

A Marriage of Contention

Marriage is the coming together of two individuals, with natural differences. Loving honesty in communication helps us to grow together as one. What seems hard in marriage is often doing us good. A few weeks ago, we were invited to attend an event featuring Jordan Peterson. Curious to see this Canadian psychologist and academic, who was touring Australia with sell-out ...

  • marital resilience

Resilience of the Marital Kind

Married life, like your career, take effort and investment. For resilience in your marital relationship, don't expect your spouse to fulfil your every want; instead, learn to love them and grow with them through the ups and downs of life. A healthy and realistic perspective is the basis for a solid marriage. Let’s face it -- marriage can be a ...

  • marriage - soul mate

The Soul Mate Quest

The perfect is the enemy of the good. While it is important to have standards while selecting a life partner and future parent of your children, having an overly idealistic dream will blind you to the suitable real-life humans in front of you. Chasing ‘Happily Ever After’ It sounds so romantic: ‘Destiny’ has each of us perfectly matched with someone ...

  • loving

Loving with Understanding

Everyone experiences love differently. Biology, upbringing, personality and experiences all influence the way an individual likes and needs to be loved. Being different in this way isn’t a problem. In fact, it’s one of the things that make relationships a rich and wonderful experience. Different Wavelenghts What is a potential problem is that both you and your spouse (or fiance, ...

  • love

Keys to Love Well

How can you best love your spouse? Here are some basics to identify their unique love profile and meet their needs while avoiding potential pitfalls. On a mission to love… Every couple wants to avoid divorce and get along without too many fights. A successful marriage, however, is much more than just this; it is a life-long union in which ...

  • cricket

Watching Cricket Together

Life with a baby turns regular activities into entirely new and wonderful experiences. It’s hard to believe so much time has passed. My son, Seth, is now ten weeks old, and so intelligent he’s bound to make a future Prime Minister. (Not that I’m biased!) Recently, I reflected on my experiences during Seth’s birth. A heap has happened since then. ...

  • restraint - conflict resolution

A Little Restraint Goes a Long Way

Taking a pause and practising restraint in the midst of conflict allows you to identify how old wounds are being triggered by the current situation, and re-focus in order to resolve the conflict peacefully, repairing the relationship and deepening your love. It happens all the time -- one of us does or says something and it triggers a harsh reaction. ...

  • marriage - gift of love

The Nature of Love

Most of us think of love as that feeling of affection and attachment we experience for another person. But is love just a feeling? Or is there more to it? The Experience of Love Every person experiences love in a unique way. Some gestures of love will more powerfully communicate love to you than others. For example, some people feel ...

  • Valentine's love

5 Frugal Ideas that Fit the Budget and Honour the Meaning of Valentine’s Day

Here are five affordable yet fun ideas to celebrate the spirit of Valentine's Day with your beloved all year round. Valentine’s Day is, in many ways, a gap-filling marketing oasis for retailers to cover their bottom lines between Christmas and Easter. We buy into it probably for the same reasons. Valentine’s Day offers time to take a breath between the ...

  • capacity

Expanding Your Capacity

When you are juggling family and work responsibilities at full capacity, is there still room for giving back to your community? Once a month, on a Sunday afternoon, we head out to our ‘connect group’ as part of our church. Connect Group is a group of families that meet together to hang out, talk about life, pray for each other ...

  • Valentine's Day Challenge

Valentine’s Day Challenge

Counting your blessings by noting down things to be grateful about your spouse, is a wonderful way to transform your perspective and make them feel genuinely appreciated and loved. Yes, it is Valentine’s Day this coming Monday 14 February, and the first thing you are going to say is, this is just commercialised flim-flam, and besides, what has it got ...

  • quantity-time

From Valentine to Valen-TIME

Quality time together is ideal to keep the spark alive in a marriage, but it needs to be bolstered by "quantity-time", making the effort to do routine things together, being comfortable in each other's company and sharing everyday moments. With Valentine’s Day approaching, couples everywhere are looking for ways to mark the day with romance. From lovestruck dating couples to ...

  • bride and father

Father of the Bride

Seeing your child grow up and get married is bittersweet, but embrace the changing seasons as part of being a parent. Being the father of the bride is an honour, a momentous occasion, a fresh opportunity to love. The first Father of the Bride movie was shot in 1950. The second Father of the Bride movie with Steve Martin starring ...

  • St Valentine - love worth dying for

Something Worth Dying For – Saint Valentine’s Day

St Valentine witnessed to the importance of married love by his life and death. This Valentine's Day, let us celebrate true love in our marriages, recommitting ourselves to loving and serving our spouses with joy. On February 14 every year, couples around the world celebrate one of the heroes of Christian history. As the story goes, Valentine was a Roman priest who married young ...

  • marriage

Five Strategies to Improve Your Marriage

Even if your marriage is going through difficulties, taking these small steps can work wonders in reigniting your love and smoothing out communication. A lot of people feel trapped in a dissatisfying or troubled marriage. They feel powerless to ‘fix’ it because their spouse refuses to join them in counselling or a marriage enrichment course. Yet in truth, there are ...

  • young marriage

We Married Too Young

Were we too young to get married? Would it have been better to wait till later? Lots of people told us so. Neither of us had really experienced life: Byron at 27 had at least lived out of home for three years. On the other hand, Francine at 21 was still studying, had never had her own bedroom, let alone ...

  • anniversary

Five Wedding Anniversary Dos and Don’ts

Anniversaries aren't just for reminiscing about a past event. They are an opportunity to forge new memories together and cherish one another with expressions of true love. As critical as I am about New Year’s resolutions and the feckless sentimentalism attached, I am not averse to using January to prepare for key anniversaries. These key calendar events spark hope in ...

  • communication

Seven Habits of Effective Communicators

Almost everyone agrees that communication -- good communication -- is essential to successful relationships. But what constitutes ‘good’ communication? The answer to that all depends on our goals, which will be different for various relationships and dependent on the circumstances. If our goal is to give clear instructions to an employee, it will call for a different kind of communication ...

  • chores

Men & Chores: Why We Do Them

Research shows that religious men tend to do more chores than non-religious, progressive men. What is the reason behind this? And what other reasons might men have to delve into the thick of housework? While housework is not the most glamorous of duties, research from the University of Utah suggests that some men are holding their own, both in the ...

  • marriage therapy

Five Ways to Help a Struggling Marriage

We’ve all been in that situation. A friend or relative confides in us that they are having some marriage trouble. We want to help but knowing what to do that is genuinely helpful is tricky. Here are a few tips to keep in mind. Use your best listening skills: give your full attention, validate the thoughts, emotions and needs expressed: ...

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