Transcript of Alanna Siozos’ Eulogy, April 2003
This is the hardest thing I have ever done, most likely the hardest thing I will ever do. There are so many things I can tell you about my father, but at times like these I find it hard to say anything at all.
Try to imagine a love so great, a love that makes you want to dance, a love that makes you want to cry, a love that grows stronger through the darkest nights, and a love you can feel even when your heart gives up and refuses to feel anymore.
This is the kind of love our family shares. I only just realised lately that God has a love 100 times more powerful for each and every single one of us. I know the kind of love that my family shares, and to imagine any greater, I cannot understand.
But then that would also go without saying, that at times like these when we lose one of the greatest things in our life and the pain is unbearable, it feels like someone has just grabbed your heart and squeezed it so tight and aren’t letting go for anything — that would have to say that God would be hurting so much more for us, and do you think God wants us to feel like that?
Everything happens for a reason, and although I cannot see the reason for losing my father, I understand that there’s no escaping this pain, and it’s something that everyone will go through. I thought I can either go through this and let it constantly hurt me like hell every second of every day, or I can accept what has happened and choose to stand strong, remembering the great times we all shared with him and know we’ll all be together again in Heaven. We just have to be patient. I know he is waiting for us.
These last couple of days my mind hasn’t stopped, and my daddy is all I’ve been thinking about. Two days before my father passed away, I had written him and mum a letter. I had been staying at a friend’s house for a while and hadn’t been home for a while. I was really missing them, and thought I should write them a letter.
I just wanted to inform you both how much I love you both. So know this… I love you both more than my Fleetwood Mac DVD, more than all my friends all put together and probably more than you both love me. Thank you so much for everything you have given me, except for my good looks, I have to give Pop all that credit. Don’t ever feel that I don’t appreciate things at times, because I always have. And I have always loved you both, and I will never stop loving you both too.
Even if I’m not at home and it’s raining, I pray that you drive carefully, especially Nicole (no explanation needed), because I worry and I don’t ever want anything bad to happen to my family. When I’m at Emma’s, we sometimes sit down and chat about our families. And we all say how great our families are, and how much we love them. I thought I should let you know.
Every night I go to sleep, I pray to God and thank Him for giving me a mum with such a beautiful heart, a dad who can fix anything, a sister I can get along with (most of the time) and a smart good-looking brother. Even if we were to lose one of us, I would thank God for having put that person in my life and family at all. And I’m very thankful that we’re all still here together and will be for another 200 years.
So next time you think I don’t love you both, look in the mirror and realise, how could I not love such beautiful people? How could I not love the people that care about me the most, the people who would do anything for me, and the people who showed me how to love? Nothing could ever replace my family, so please don’t ever leave me, I will never leave you.
Love Always, Alanna
After I gave this to them, I went upstairs and as I was on my way back down, I saw my dad and he had the biggest grin on his face I have ever seen. He gave me the longest hug. It felt so great that he knew how important he was to me. So the last memories of my dad was something so wonderful you cannot imagine, and every time I picture him in my head I see that huge smile. God made me write that letter, and I’m so happy I did.
So many memories we all share with such a fantastic man — he made our house such a warm place to live in, he gave everyone such a wonderful insight to life, and he gave my family such an awesome passion for music.
To me, my dad was the only one in my life who was never afraid, the one and only person who could do anything and fix everything. He always told me nothing bad would ever happen, because he was there to protect us. He still is and will be forever.
Up until I was 19, whenever there was thunder and lightning I would always run to my parent’s room, jump in between them and snuggle up and hide underneath the blankets. My dad would always say everything’s going to be alright, and it always was! And it will always be okay.
Because I know he is still with us, he never left, he’s just waiting for us in Heaven. Dad and Mum, thank you so much for my life, and Mum, thank you so much for sharing Dad with everyone. If I had married him, I would have kept him all to myself.
[Photo by Debby Hudson