From getting less sleep to talking about poo or having a messy home, there are “new normals” that every parent must adjust to. Here are my five new normals of parenting. What are yours?

Amid a conversation about toilet training with another parent, a friend who doesn’t have children walked over to join in. Suddenly we realised that toilet training isn’t something you talk about in front of people without kids. Poorly timed bowel movements is not something we wanted to talk about before we had kids.

How things have changed.

This event caused me to think. With surprising ease, I came up with a list of things that have become my ‘new normal’ since becoming a parent.

1. Angry Voice

I used to be fun! I used to laugh a lot. Now I find myself yelling bizarre commands and wondering if I may, indeed, be the very first person in the world to ever say, “Stop combing your hair with ham and finish your dinner!” Or, “For heaven’s sake, don’t groom the dog with your fork!”

2. Sleeping a Lot Less

Once upon a time, I averaged a good ten hours of solid sleep a night. Now, if can manage four hours of uninterrupted snoozing, I consider it a win. My official Saturday morning wake-up time used to be 10 am. Now 7 am is a luxury. I’ve discovered the precise amount of sleep a human being requires whilst still functioning in a semi-normal – if somewhat dazed – state.

3. Discussing Poo

Filling in my four-year-old’s kindergarten application, I was asked the question, “What words does your child use to refer to urination and bowel movements?” Yes, people, I have used the words “wee wee” and “poo” on an official form. This is what my life has become. Birth stories and epic toilet training fails have almost become a part of everyday conversation.

4. Active Holidays

These used to be a much anticipated time of complete relaxation and rejuvenation, usually involving countless hours reading beside a pool. I finished Breaking Dawn in one afternoon… in galaxy far, far away. Now, holidays are anything but relaxation. Instead, they are filled with activities and “helicopter parenting” around the pool. I spend much more time in the pool, engaged in splashing competitions and ball games, rather than beside it these days. And I can’t remember the last time I finished an entire page of a book.

5. Cleaning Standards

We were so houseproud before kids. Our home was always immaculate and tidy, with a minimalist approach. Now I only clean when we have people coming over. And by clean, I mean shove all the toys into a cupboard and hope it doesn’t burst open at an inopportune moment.

So, what’s your new normal since becoming a parent?

Originally published at Mum Daily. Image by Kampus Production at Pexels.