Mums in Distress

MOTHERS

December 11, 2005

mums in distress

Dads in Distress Inc has announced the formation of ‘Mums in Distress’, a support group based on the same concept as Dads in Distress.

There are no winners in divorce and separation, especially our children.

The reality is mums suffer just as much as dads, with the end result of our children ending in distress. We receive thousands of calls and emails from mums, especially within the second marriage scenario, who are struggling and with nowhere to go.

Dads struggling with supporting two families, mums doing the balancing act trying to keep a relationship going, and caught in the middle of the crossfire. The feedback we have received is that mums are not getting that help. Now they have a place to go.

Dads in Distress held the first ‘Mums in Distress’ meeting in Coffs Harbour this week and the group is set to expand rapidly across the country, only limited by funding and volunteer help. We offer mums a safe place to share their feelings along the same lines as a DIDS meeting, without judgement.

Often, mums going through divorce feel isolated and unable to talk to friends. That’s where ‘MIDS’ can help. If you store up all that bitterness, anger and grief, it will eventually eat you away from the inside. There are 5 males a day suiciding in this country, and there are also 2 females and many more that attempt. We need to address that.

Dads in Distress is not a men’s rights group — it’s about EQUALITY and SUPPORT of all who go through the trauma of divorce or separation. It’s about our children. It’s about them not having to suffer because mum and dad have gone to war.

Eventually, the goal is to get mum and dad talking, experiencing each other’s pain, and coming to a better understanding about what’s best for their children. We are fighting a war and we are battling it out in the lounge rooms of our homes, and we are doing it right in front of our kids. What are we teaching them?

There are now 25 DIDS groups meeting regularly around the country. ‘MIDS’ is sadly needed, and is a huge step forward for mums and dads, but especially our children. And the next step is to establish ‘KIDS — Kids in Distress’ as a mentoring program run along the same line as ‘DIDS’ and ‘MIDS’ within our schools.

Every second child is going through the same pain as we are, and through a mentoring programme, we can reach those kids while they are still in school and teach them that it’s OK to talk about how they feel, and realise that it’s OK to feel that way, and that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

[Photo by Engin Akyurt from Pexels]
Tony Miller

Tony Miller was awarded the Order of Australia Medal in the 2010 Queen's Birthday honors list 'For service to the community through the provision of support services for separated families'.

Tony Miller was awarded the Order of Australia Medal in the 2010 Queen's Birthday honors list 'For service to the community through the provision of support services for separated families'.

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