Every New Year’s Eve, it’s the same. We resolve to lose weight, get fit, cut back on bad habits and bring more balance into our lives. And sometimes, we even DO follow through, even if only for a few months.

These are not bad resolutions. The question is: are these things the ones on which we should be focusing our energies? Or is there something more significant, more rewarding?

Prioritise Your Resolutions

One of the most important resolutions we can make is to give our marriages and relationships higher priority. Most people think that good relationships just happen spontaneously — that if you have the right chemistry, or the right disposition, then your marriage will be effortless. In truth, no relationship of depth and duration is effortless.

The most vital and satisfying marriages are intentional.

They don’t leave their relationship to chance, but actively foster habits which deepen their intimacy and below Year nging. Here’s some ideas for your New Year’s Resolution that are guaranteed to make an impact.

Time: Make your marriage a priority. Evaluate how much ‘couple time’ you have in a typical week (watching TV together doesn’t count!). Schedule a minimum of 15 minutes every day for just the two of you.

Attention: Pay attention to the good. Every day, tell your spouse at least one thing that you appreciate about them. It helps you to feel more positive towards your spouse, and encourages your spouse to do more of the things that you like.

Care: Learn (or ask) what helps your spouse feel most loved and connected to you. Perhaps it’s a romantic dinner, doing some recreational activity together, long conversations, or making love. Whatever is most deeply desired by your spouse, commit to a regular time when you can love your spouse this way.


Originally published at SmartLoving. Photo by Nicole Michalou.

About the Author: Byron and Francine Pirola

Married for 25 years, with 5 children, Byron & Francine Pirola are the founders and co-authors of the SmartLoving Series – marriage enrichment and marriage preparation courses designed to help build successful and resilient marriages. International speakers and authors of numerous articles on marriage, more than 3000 couples have attended their programs, workshops and conferences in Australia, New Zealand and Great Britain Byron & Francine are Executive Directors of the Marriage Resource Centre from which they run SmartLoving programs and produce digital resources. Francine graduated from Fordham University with a Masters in Religion and Religious Education. Byron is a founding partner of the strategic consulting firm, Port Jackson Partners Limited, and a Director of both listed and unlisted companies. He holds a PhD from the Commonwealth Centre for Gene Technology, Adelaide University.

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