My wife and I are in the process of adopting a baby girl, known affectionately as ‘Squish’ here at the Daily Dad until her adoption is finalised.
Here in my weekly column, I am opening up about the ins and outs of parenting a newborn and the joys and challenges of adoption.
Recently, I shared a beautiful message that Angie and I received from Squish’s birth mother. This week, we decided it was our turn to write a letter back to her:
Dear Squish’s Birth Mother,
At the beginning of this adoption journey, the agency told us that whatever happens, it will end up being a ‘God story’. How right they were!
The adoption agency also encouraged us to follow your lead as the birth mother as to what this adoption would look like. Honestly, it has all turned out better than we could have expected.
A few days after you chose our profile book, we met you by video call. We were amazed at how quickly we connected, and at how comfortable you were meeting us, chatting with us and making us laugh.
You welcomed us into your life and your situation with open arms. You sent us photos of your growing belly and updates after each pregnancy appointment. We even got to discuss a baby name together. We look back with tears in our eyes thinking about how you let us be part of it all.
The hospital was a very emotional time for all of us, but it was truly the best experience. We will always remember sharing stories and bonding with you during contractions, walking the halls with you while you laboured, and sitting behind the screen as you pushed. Hearing Squish’s first cry together was truly a miracle.
You carried Squish for nine months, and yet you involved us as her new parents from the very start. What an amazing, selfless and brave decision. You had so much strength and certainty and love — to do this for Squish, and for us.
We love sharing photos and videos and updates with you. We love that Squish will be able to see you over the upcoming holidays, and that there will be many more opportunities to spend time together in the future. Squish will always know the story about her birth mother and will always be free to ask questions about how it all began.
If there is one thing we have learned throughout this journey, it has been trust. We had no choice but to trust you — to trust that you had made the right decision when you chose adoption and when you chose us, and to trust that you would continue choosing us. You have honoured your word every step of the way, and we cannot thank you enough.
From the start, the adoption agency explained to us that an open adoption means we are welcoming not just one person into our lives but two — the baby and her mother. All parents are biased towards their own children, and that is definitely true of how we think about Squish. But as adoptive parents, it is also how we see you. Together with Squish, we feel like we have the best birth mother in the world.
Welcoming Squish into our family has been a dream come true. Welcoming you, her birth mother, into our lives has been a huge added bonus and a blessing we had not anticipated.
How do we express gratitude to someone who has given us the gift of a daughter? With uncertainties over whether we will get pregnant ourselves, how can we repay someone for inviting us into their journey and choosing us to be parents?
From the bottom of our hearts, thank you.
Love, Angie and Kurt
Image via Unsplash.